Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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