p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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