The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize