I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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