I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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