worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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