WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
