Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
