isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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