i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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