The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Houston, we have a squirter
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize