Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
