**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
