Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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