how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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