i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just want to make out with him forever
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
