Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
