why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
