I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize