we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
