try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
