Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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