There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
