i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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