Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
