they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
