college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
