I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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