One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
