Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
