he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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