True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Randomize
