I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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