If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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