marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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