i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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