this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
