You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
