I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
