They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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