Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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