I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
