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the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
