Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
