I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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