there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
