Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
