sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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