The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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