Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tornado booty call.. dedication
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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