So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
