No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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