I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize