This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you win again, gameday.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
