he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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