I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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