im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
