He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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