i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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