ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
